Friday, January 6, 2012
Last night as I was curled up on the couch I heard some little feet coming down the steps. It was late, 11:30 or so. Reese poked his little head around the corner and said "Sorry, Mom", he'd gotten in trouble and sent to bed early. Then he asked "Can I snuggle?" I lifted the blanket and let him in. I curled my little man up and hugged him hard. He's not so little anymore, I swear he grows an inch everyday. As I sat there snuggling him, he fell back asleep, I couldn't help but think about all the times I would be up late and when I'd go to bed, Reese would be in my spot, Mark laying next to him. At that moment I thought about how Reese will never have another man love him as much as his Dad. He will never have another man hug him and give him all that love. Reese was always in our bed from the time he was born. We did our best as parents to put him in his crib, his own bed, but Mark always said, "He just likes being close to his peeps." On those nights I would find Reese in my spot, I would just go sleep in his bed. Last night I pulled Reese a little closer, hugged him a little harder. I know I can't replace Mark, I know that I can't be Reese's dad, but, I can be the best mom I can be. I can snuggle him when he needs it.