Today I woke up thinking about how anxious and nervous I had always been. It's crazy. I would get so worked up over just about everything. It would affect my sleep and I could be overwhelmingly OCD about things. For example, I was thinking about this coming weekend. I'm heading to Norfolk with one of my best friends to see one of my favorite musicians. Normally, I would have directions printed out, the name of the hotel we are staying at and all my ducks in a row, neatly in a folder on the dining room table. I would worry about leaving the kids and preparing them for wherever they may be staying for the night. Instructions on how to care for them all written out and bags in the process of being packed. None of that is done and it probably won't be until Friday morning. And, there will be no instructions and everything will be just fine. I will get a good night's sleep every night and not worry.
In the past 18 months I think it's the one thing that sticks out the most. The lack of worry. Don't get me wrong, I still worry over little things even though I try not to. I get less anxious and less nervous about things. I think when the absolute worst-case-scenario happens to you, it's one of the blessings on the flip side. I spent my whole life worrying about the "what-ifs" and it did me no good. I get to enjoy life a little more. I get to be a little calmer and a lot more relaxed. Everything is okay and just as it should be.
Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow. ~Swedish Proverb
So, today, as I make my daily "to-do" list, I don't stress that everything might not get done. I do my best, keep moving forward and enjoy the small things.
Ha Ha Ha...I have lists too. I can totally see the OCD Tanya making a million lists and notes! There was a time that they dictated my life and I didn't feel "successful" or "accomplished" until I had everything crossed off. And if I was not super prepared for every possibility days before an event/trip I would stress to the max.
ReplyDeleteThe difference now is that I don't really even check things off of of my lists, and I write the same lists over and over (sometimes they morph a little but not by much.) Now, I think I am simply using them to organize my intentions. Oh, and I totally pack and plan very last minute, and you are right - it all works out just fine.
I think I will always still worry a little bit, but I seem to be better at keeping it in check.
I hope you have a blast in Norfolk - and you don't worry about a thing. It's crazy what happens when something big completely changes our perspective. You are inspiring and it is so sweet to see you find the silver linings.
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ReplyDeleteDo what I do, write the list, feel better, then throw it away and go live life to the fullest! :) xo
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