FULL STEAM AHEAD

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa!  It is so strange to me how I can be so "full steam ahead" like it's nobody's business and a phone call can stop me in my tracks.  A simple message from a good friend and I've been sitting on the message for a full week, unable to return the phone call.  I just can't seem to dial the numbers.  This friend was someone who came into my and Mark's life at the same time.  I'm unsure if I talked to this person in the first few months after Mark died, those first few months being one huge blur.  And, now, so much time has gone by it just seems that it brings up so many memories, it's another hurdle for me, another reminder of what's gone.  Mark was a huge piece of our friendship.  We would laugh at the trials and tribulations of marriage and the "bickering" Mark and I would do.  Mark thought the world of her, one of the nicest and most genuine people he'd met, and I'd have to agree. 

I know this friend will understand when I finally call her back.  I just have to prepare myself, emotionally.  I hate that.  I hate that at even the thought of calling, I can feel the tears stinging.  I know she would understand and I know it's a hurdle I can jump over.  I've jumped this very same hurdle a million other times and it never gets any easier.  I will definitely call, soon. 

Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it destination full of hope. ~Maya Angelou