PATIENCE

"Patience is a virtue."  "Good things come to those who wait." ~ Great quotes....but, seriously?  I am not a patient person.  I've always been one to jump right in, both feet and figure it all out.  It has not always worked out best for me. I've made some pretty ridiculous decisions.  It's okay, I've learned.  I'm still learning "patience"...this is hard for me.  I like how being patient gives me time to contemplate and compare.  It's bleeding over into every aspect of my life.  My house, my relationships, my kids, myself.

I used to consider myself a "decision maker", I would make a decision (usually an impatient one) and just stick to it, because I had made a decision.  I was hell bent and determined not to be wrong and to control whatever was going on.  I can't control people with my decisions.  I can't use the excuse "It was my decision and that's what I'm sticking to."  Patience is making me open to suggestions. The more I talk about things, the more input and insight I gain. 

With my house:  I've been working on my house and it's killing me because I just want things done.  I want it all fixed and pretty, right now.  I have slowed down, taking my time with painting, getting quotes for the work I can't do myself and just pacing myself. 

With my relationships:  I've always jumped two feet in and made it work (or tried to).  I don't want to settle to have just anyone in my life.  This part of my life is so difficult for me, I'm a hopeless romantic.  Would love to have someone sweep me off my feet and that be the end of it.  I'm beginning to realize that I still can be swept off my feet and be patient.  Taking my time, truly getting to know someone and making sure you were each other's decision can't be wrong.  After all, you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince, right? 

With my kids:  Wow!  Patience with my kids.....does anyone really have that?!  I'm learning.  I'm letting them figure out who they are and not who I want them to be.  It's really hard with a teenager.  I can't help but to realize that when I back away, stop trying to control, she is amazing.  Smart, bright, beautiful and amazingly creative.  I just have to let her grow.  I'm learning to let my youngest just explore.  Yep, he has a pocket knife and I let him run and play outside and just be a boy.  I don't check on him every 15 minutes or even every hour.  That is HUGE for me. 

With myself:   I'm kinder and more patient with myself.  I'm learning to find myself and love myself.  It takes time.  I'll keep reading, keep discovering. 

So, as I head out into the day, I'm going to remember that "Good things come to those who wait."  I'll practice patience and hope that one day it will come naturally to me.